WBN The Satirical News

Donald Trump jr Meeting With Assassins

Donald Trump jr has stated brashly after having an extensive meeting with 3 tiny Skittles (government assassins), that there are absolutely no safety precautions taken by the United Nations High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR). The several agencies, the State Department, the Department of Homeland Security, the Defense Department, the National Counterterrorism Center and the Federal Bureau of Investigation have not been involved in the most stringent security process for anyone entering the united states. The agencies are not using biographical and biometric information about applicants to conduct a background check but instead have created a humongous hand and have started pulling Syrians out of Syria. ‘The meeting with the 3 tiny Skittles was satisfying and mind broadening and oh gosh they are the best assassins I have ever met’, said Donald Trump jr.

Apple Controversy

 

A controversy has started about the Iphone camera. Some people are of the opinion, that the camera makes you look a little fatter, other say those people see what they want to see. However scientist have found out that the camera is adding 10 pounds to every one who is in the picture. This has been done deliberately said Ginni van der Hool, a spokesperson from the Apple Campus. Here at Apple we like things of beauty, so we want people to think they look fat, to encourage them to go to the gym, or starve themselves with a diet.

 

Gentlewoman

A man is called a gentleman when he holds the door open for a woman, but what do we call a woman when she holds the door open for a man? Yes you are right, she is called a gentlewoman. These days a woman can be chivalrous to.
Regina Flangeloni did just that for the man she had loved for over 7 years. They were talking about who would take care of the kids in the weekends after the divorce. When he said, it would be mostly his parents, she opened the door for him and told him to get out. When he said he did not want to and she was just being crazy, she told him; you run tracks at nights, this shouldn’t be that hard for you, just wiggle your legs as fast as possible. But she gave in when he said; you can’t make me do this. She said; ok, I’ll stop the car, you get out, but you are not to close the door until then.

France On A Roll To Ban The Burkini

Some French villages have banned the Burkini.
“The beaches of France are places where butts and boobs are supposed to be shown “zut” (*dammit)!
Although everybody has the right to wear what they want on a beach, even if it is a wetsuit, we will not allow “these women” to be modest, it is our duty to deny them the same rights as everybody else to wear protective gear going into water or protect them against the sun. If their husbands cannot oppress them, we will oppress them instead,” said a French village.

Shorts

If you’re feeling down, tell this joke to a person (preferably an analyst) to make yourself laugh. Tell the person there is a logic behind it.

Question: Do you know why the rabbit,…? (the reaction should make you chuckle a bit)
Answer: Because behind a tree. (the reaction should make you laugh a bit)

Warning: some analysts (or know it alls) may become agitated! Which is pretty funny and thus achieves its goal.

Ridiculous truths:
The Zombie leader spoke; Gurgle gurgle gurgle,
The Zombie crowd yelled; Gaaaaaaaaa
The people screamed; Aaaaaahh
The sheep bleated; Baaahhhh
Trump said; He’ll run the country

Today, yesterday was tomorrow and today, tomorrow is yesterday.
because when yesterday was today then tomorrow meant today.
And when tomorrow becomes today then yesterday would mean today.

Answer the Question;

Which word is spelled right?

A. Asnwer
B. Answer
C. I do not know the answer